The process of funeral planning can strain family relationships due to jealousy, competitiveness, resentment, stress, anger, fear or financial insecurity. Disputes can arise over the day of the funeral, the church responsible for the funeral service, the venue, the deceased possessions or will. In some cases these disputes and tensions go back for many years. Here are a few tips on how to deal with such a situation if it arises:
Keep Communication Open and Compromise
Difficult family members can make planning funeral arrangements stressful for everyone involved. During meetings and other times of conversation, avoid arguments and maintain an open line of communication.
Treat Everyone with Respect
No matter what happens, endeavor to remain respectful to everyone involved. Listen attentively with an open mind so that everything can be quickly resolved.
Consult a Skillful Funeral Director
Family relationships can have ever-changing complexity. Disagreements can not always be avoided, but a skillful funeral director can make the prospect of family conflict less likely. Be honest about your family situation from the start, so you can get the best professional skill and experienced guidance.
Share Responsibilities
Instead of having the most senior family member make every decision, you delegate or share some responsibilities of the final funeral arrangements. Two heads are better than one, so involve all necessary family members in large discussions.
Don’t Bring Up Old Grudges
When conversations get heated over something, take a step back and consider whether what you are about to say next will aggravate the situation. Resist the urge to slip into the past.
Honor Everyone’s Experience of Grief
People grieve differently. While some family members may act out while coming to terms with their loss others may not even react at all. Try where possible to remember that everyone is experiencing difficult emotions.
