How to Support a Teenager Grieving the Loss of a Sibling

Sibling relationships are unlike any other. As a result, losing a sibling can feel especially isolating and confusing.

Parents often wonder how to approach the difficult topic of helping their children cope with loss. Here are some of the common ways teenagers experience grief and how you can support them.

How Teenagers Grieve

First of all you have to recognize that your teen’s grief will look different from your own. This is due to the absence of tools adults use to express their grief or cope with it. Symptoms of teenage grief may include the following:

Anger

Difficulty expressing grief can often turn into anger. Some young people might feel that they or others could have done more to prevent the loss. Some become angry at their sibling who died, while others feel abandoned or regret not having the chance to say goodbye.

Becoming Distant

Shock can leave some young people feeling emotionally numb. When they feel that no one truly understands what they’re going through, they can start to withdraw and become more distant.

Activity

While some teens become withdrawn, angry, or act out; others throw themselves into school, sports, or social activities to avoid the pain.

Guilt

Many feel intense guilt, wondering if they could have done something differently. It is common for them to question their faith, their future, or even their identity now that their brother or sister is gone.

Ways to Support a Grieving Teen

Create space for honest conversations

Having conversations about how they feel can help. However, your teen might swing between wanting to talk about their sibling constantly and refusing to mention them at all. Avoid forcing conversations. You can refer to our previous post on things you should never say to a grieving person.

Encourage healthy outlets

Teens may express grief through music, art, journaling, sports, or spending time with friends. Some teens find comfort in creating something in memory of their sibling, like a playlist, scrapbook, or charity project.

Watch for Warning Signs

Be alert for signs they may need extra help, such as prolonged depression, self-harm, substance use, dropping grades, or talk of not wanting to live.

If you’re worried, gently suggest speaking with a grief counselor or therapist who specializes in teen loss. Learn more about the benefits of grief counseling.