Age affects an individual’s experience of grief and death. Involving children and young people in the funeral event is one way to allow them express their grief and say goodbye to the person they care for who has passed away. Here are creative ways to make them responsible for something whether before, during or after the event.
Prepare Their Minds
It is important to talk through what is likely to happen before, during and after the funeral; do not assume that they already know. Avoid using euphemisms that children may struggle to understand. Tell them about the roles they are expected to play and watch for their response to avoid disappointments on the day of the event.
Encourage them to Craft Memory Items
Since children love to make drawings, you can encourage them in this direction. Provide them with materials with which to make a picture for their special person who has passed away. They may also want to write letters or craft memory boxes or books to honour the deceased. These items can then be shared during the service or uploaded to the memorial website, if you intend to make one.
Participating in Rituals
Rituals vary across different cultures. Older children may be responsible for tributes and the biogra
phy of the deceased. They may also play a role in other culture-specific roles. You should make them understand why this is important, as it could be that only children of certain age or birth order can perform that role.
Reading, singing or playing in the ceremony
Children may also read poems, letters or
something else they have written. A musical instrument may also be played at graveside. You may help the child choose a song that captures the essence of the funeral.
However, if the child is feeling overwhelmed and cannot bear to attend the funeral, you should respect this decision and provide emotional support.